Gain self-confidence

Can’t handle feedback? Here’s how to deal with that.

Henk Veenhuysen
by Henk Veenhuysen
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Honestly, getting feedback isn’t always that easy. No one really likes it. You get pointed out your shortcomings and that’s no fun. Even constructive feedback isn’t easy. Your interlocutor tries to help you in the the best way, and yet you think, “suppose that doesn’t work out,” or even more annoyingly, “maybe I’m not good enough to get this done.

Without friction no shine

The flip side of the coin is that you, without feedback, probably won’t grow, and that’s not helpful either. You simply need some information now and then to take the next step. Self-reflection can undoubtedly get you going, but sometimes you need an objective colleague to give you the crucial tips in your development as a professional.

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Dealing with feedback is always a bit tricky

Let’s assume for the sake of convenience that you will never really like getting feedback. That it’s a necessary evil and that you accept that, that’s already a good start.

In addition, you can learn to look at it in a different way; as information you can use to make a greater impact on your professional growth. The tips below will help you get much more out of your feedback and help you deal with it better.

Receive and value feedback? Here’s how to do it:

  1. Pay attention to who gives the feedback

  2. Have the feedback made concrete with examples

  3. Is the feedback given by multiple people

  4. Ho, ho, don’t tackle everything at once!

  5. Failure does not exist, every effort counts

Not to worry 🙂 I explain all these steps.

#1. Pay attention to who gives the feedback

Not all feedback has equal value. Feedback from an experienced colleague who points out to you where the project could be improved is extremely useful. You can also get feedback from a well-meaning colleague who tells you to “keep going” when something fails. That’s a lot less helpful.

So it makes a difference who gives the feedback and how much value you place on it. You can choose in this: at work, prefer to consciously choose a small number of people to whom you regularly ask for feedback. Furthermore, leave the feedback you get from people who don’t understand the situation as well as you do. You can, of course, thank them for the tips.

#2. Make feedback concrete with examples

Feedback that doesn’t really say anything at all and that you can’t do anything with; ever experienced it? I have! A few examples:

Vacuous feedback:

  • Hey, do something!
  • You should take a little more initiative
  • What you have made now is just not right
  • The results really need to improve
  • Show yourself a little more

Do not accept this feedback

These forms of negative feedback are just not concrete enough. Therefore, don’t accept them. It’s up to you to make this feedback more concrete. You do this by asking the feedback giver questions that lead to the information becoming concrete. Making it concrete makes it possible for you to turn the feedback into action.

Example?

Suppose that in your project proposal the financial section is insufficiently developed (that is the feedback), you can improve it by requesting some examples from a more experienced project manager (action).

blog continues after photo

dealing with feedback
Feedback gets more value when it comes from different, independent angles.

Handle 3. The power of repetition

Feedback gets more value when it comes from different, independent sources. So it can be useful to reflect on all the pieces of feedback you receive from these sources. The summation of these sources of feedback can give you a good direction on where to pay more (or less) attention in your work. That way, you can improve your work as a professional.

Tip: In a performance review, outline what feedback you received and how you addressed it. Success assured!

#4. Stop right there, not all at once!

Of course, you are of good will. It’s just unwise to address all feedback at once. The result will probably be disappointing because it is too much and not focused enough. My suggestion is to focus on one improvement goal in response to the feedback you’ve received.

You then naturally take the feedback that is most helpful to yourself and makes sense to you. If you do it that way, the chances of success increase and you also stay yourself. Important isn’t it?

#5. Failure does not exist

If you’ve tried something new in response to feedback, and it doesn’t go quite right, that’s normal. Any new behavior is learned through trial and error. And new things are “a little contrived” or come across that way to you at first.

Ask for feedback again (from your trusted colleagues, see point 1) and just try again. You’ll find that as time goes by, things will get better and better. A nice side benefit is that your colleagues will notice that you put in the effort. They will appreciate this.

In conclusion

The great thing about dealing with feedback is that you can choose to act on it. You are not obligated to act on it. It is your development. So choose and determine your own direction.

Free introductory call,

Run into a lack of assertiveness or self-confidence?

Want to get rid of that, once and for all? Then my 1-on-1 coach approach is really something for you. Lets get acquainted first, no strings attached. See if we have a 'click' and if I can help you.

> Schedule your free call now

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