7 times more confident? Here’s what you can learn from socially savvy people

Being social at work is sometimes a task. Perhaps you didn’t get it naturally or you feel a little insecure. Not to worry because you can build your confidence with these 7 hints from socially savvy people.

Hint 1: Socially savvy people don’t explain anything about themselves ….

Socially savvy people know that you, as a conversationalist, are not perfect. They accept you as you are. No one is perfect and never will be in the future.

They know this about you but also about themselves. They accept themselves with all their good qualities and less good qualities. So socially successful people know that a good (working) relationship is about mutual acceptance of each other’s pluses and minuses.

Hint 2: They don’t cling to anyone

Socially savvy people often have a pretty good idea, what they stand for and what they do or do not want in their lives. They are also willing to defend that. They are the “keepers of their own space.” In this sense, they stand with both feet on solid ground of self-confidence.

They know that no one will ever come and tell them what is acceptable and what is not. They know that you have to determine those kinds of values and principles yourself.

If you watch them you will also notice that they are not immediately upside down with someone. Of course they may express their admiration for their hero but it will never throw them off balance, they never cling to these heroes. Do you want to be social? Then be independent.

Hint 3: They are frustrated, scared and impatient

…And they don’t hide much of that! The ultimate key to a poor emotional and social life is to suppress all those emotions. Socially savvy people know that.

They always express their emotions, knowing that it is part of life to have problems sometimes. Sometimes you have a good day and sometimes a down day. So being social means sharing emotions. You can learn that by working on your emotional intelligence.

Hint 4: They offer help when you need it

To be social is to make good use of your empathic ability. Socially adept people even “smell” your emotions from a great distance. They understand at what times you are feeling upset or struggling. In fact, you never have to tell them.

And then when you are a little down or uncertain these people take the opportunity to help you like you have rarely been helped. They are really there for you. They offer help and encouragement at exactly the moment when you need it most. Often they do this with appropriate, introverted, restraint and are certainly not going to “mother or father” you.

Hint 5: Being social = knowing what the other person cares about

Being social means being genuinely interested in others. Socially adept people know what is important to you and respond by asking you questions with interest.

It creates a strong natural connection between you and that person. They also start right away as soon as you meet them. They thereby prove that they care about you and that you are important to them.

Hint 6: They invest in you without expecting anything in return

Many people are afraid to give something away or do something for another person. After all, people might just take advantage of you! These frightened people have found in recent years that many people are selfish and that they will do nothing in return if you are kind to them.

Socially savvy people realize exceedingly well that you have to give something before you get something back. Socially savvy people also know that giving something does not mean handing over something precious. Just being nice can be a great first step.

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Subtle hint 7: They mildly poke fun at you, which is good for you

Well, you may not believe it but it really says so. Sometimes it’s time for serious work and sometimes it’s time for some humor. Socially savvy people know better than anyone else how to make you realize that sometimes you shouldn’t be too serious. This light-hearted attitude makes you realize that at least you shouldn’t always take life seriously.

Sometimes you have to go with the flow. It helps you look at problems from a different angle. Socially adept people are masters at this.

My conclusion

Everyone can actually learn how to be social at work by practicing a lot with the tips listed with each hint. Of course, not all seven at once. Just pick one and notice that people will interact with you in a nice way. Just like all those other socially useful people.