Want to be more resilient? Become a tower of strength at work

As a colleague, do you stay afloat in stressful situations? Can people call on you at these moments? Yes? You are probably mentally strong and resilient. If you are mentally resilient then you are able to take action under stressful situations and do what it takes to make the best of it. In this article, a checklist of 4 interesting and personal ground rules to strengthen your mental resilience and become a tower of strength. That’s good for your self-confidence!

Why is mental toughness useful?

Every person faces situations from time to time that test their mental resilience. That’s life isn’t it? It’s just part of it.

For example, you may lose your job, have a conflict with a colleague , or a project of yours fails…. There are also stressful situations privately, such as an unexpected illness.

These are all situations that test your mental resilience and perseverance. Is it natural to be a tower of strength for others? Of course it would be nice, and maybe it is even expected of you, but we are far from knowing how to do it.

What is that anyway, mentally resilient ?

When we examine this in the armed forces, and especially in the Marines, it yields interesting insights. There is a lot of training there on mental toughness.

They view mental toughness as an attitude (the way you respond to people and situations) that makes you more confident.

They believe mental toughness can be trained through a mix of physical training, the right mind-set and adult behavior.

Mental resilience has the best chance to grow with that attitude. So it is a combination of factors that results in strong mental resilience.

Now of course we don’t all have to become Marines, but we can draw inspiration from these insights.

How do professionals do their jobs in other circumstances and what can you learn from them? In this article, a checklist of 4 simple ideas to increase your mental resilience.

1. Consciously undertake new things

If you want to increase your mental resilience, you actually have to push boundaries. Do something or learn something that is just a bit beyond your control, or what you are not yet capable of doing.

Sometimes that will work and sometimes it won’t. Basically, what this trains you to do is that some things will fail. The balance between succeeding and failing is “part of the deal”; it’s part of learning new things.

By regularly, consciously and intentionally, doing new things that you can’t yet do, you automatically train your mental resilience. It helps you cope better with stressful situations. So that, when necessary, you can be that tower of strength.

Doing something new doesn’t have to be “big.” Learning a new language, or new sport, is already fine. Or tackling a project or job at work that you haven’t done before. It’s just about you pushing the boundaries and stepping outside your comfort zone.

2. Create a personal job description: ‘this is my job’

To increase your mental resilience, you can simply say to yourself: ‘It’s my job’. How do you find out what your job is? Seems like a silly question, because you know, don’t you? But can you name the core, what it is all about?

By creating a short personal description of “your job,” you’ll have a better idea of what is at the heart of your job and what you care about. This personal description consists not only of the function you perform at work, but also other roles you perform, such as partner, parent or friend.

Your personal job description consists of 4 or 5 sentences at most. One sentence for each important role in your life. Keep this piece of paper with you (for example, in your wallet), or stick it somewhere you will see it regularly (for example, your monitor).

At times when you are struggling, or simply tired, take out the bill and read it. Basically, they are instructions to do what you have agreed with yourself about what your job is. It will help you be the tower of strength for colleagues who rely on you.

3. Do something for your team members (or family).

You can think at length about goals you set for yourself, or what you would like to develop. You can also practice mental resilience in a practical way.

For example, by engaging in activities to benefit colleagues or loved ones. In this way you strengthen the connection between you and your colleague, or between you and your loved ones. You can do this very consciously using the following exercise.

Write down the names of some people on your team with whom you have a good relationship (and/or write down names of family or friends). For each name, write 1 or 2 things you can do to strengthen your relationship with that person, and implement those things. This way you surround yourself with people who trust each other, and that is a good foundation in more complex situations.

4. Be proud of yourself

Of course the occasional pat on the back, formal and informal, is heartening. In our culture, there is a focus on achievement through awards and rewards. But do you really need that for good mental toughness? I don’t think so.

I believe that people with good mental resilience take pride in themselves and their accomplishments. They do not directly need an external factor (appreciation from others) to feel good about themselves.

Can you train that? Being proud of yourself? Yes indeed, for example with the following exercise. Make a list of all the things you are proud of, things you have done because you thought they were important.

Make sure it includes mostly positive things for which there is no immediate appreciation from others. Read through the list and experience the feeling of being proud of that, just from within yourself.

Is it time to work on your own resilience?
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The core of being mentally resilient

Get busy

So, go ahead and practice being resilient for your environment, a personal pillar of strenght. Remember, just one thing is important: hang in there, even if you don’t succeed right away. Don’t worry about failure. It’s just part of the game. What doesn’t kill you, will make you stronger!