8 ways to be surprisingly collegial

Want to be more collegial? Not always easy if you are a little less assertive. You can put the concept of cordiality to good use for that. Cordiality is difficult to feign. Whereas your presence with your body language and understanding gaze can still convince other people, this is not the case with cordiality. Your colleagues simply sense very well when your cordiality is played.

On the fake variety of cordiality , your colleagues will flinch a bit. Especially if you do it to get something done from the other person. So that’s not going to work. Kindness is a genuine gift to your colleague without expecting anything in return. In this article 8 ideas to be surprisingly collegial.

2 pillars of cordiality and collegiality

There are 2 main pillars to fanning the fire of your own cordiality.

1. Personal appreciation for all the beautiful and good things (big and small) in your own life.
2. Develop your empathy.

About empathy

Your colleagues want to feel understood. With a good dose of empathy, you can imagine what a particular event means to the other person. Empathy means being able to put yourself in the other person’s shoes. If you have developed too little or no empathy then don’t worry; you can just practice it.

8 ideas for being more collegial

1. You are a host/hostess

Suppose you invite people to your home. Think about how you act as a host or hostess and what you do. You can bring the same attitude or thought to your work and interactions with colleagues. If you can introduce yourself as the host or hostess then it is easier to put your interlocutor at ease.

2. Give a real compliment

Giving a real compliment strengthens the relationship in powerful ways. And yes, we Dutch are stingy with that. Giving a good compliment is an art. By the way, accepting a nice compliment is also something you can practice and learn.

3. Mirroring body language

Research shows that mirroring the other person’s body language has a positive effect on the other person. A lot of people do this automatically. Just pay attention in a public space when people talk to each other. If one person sits a little hunched over, the other does the same. In this way you increase social interaction in a pleasant way.

4. A smile helps

Laughing or smiling is a simple way to show cordiality. It helps not only the other person but also yourself. By laughing you relax yourself and that in turn helps to show cordiality. Smiling makes you approachable to others. Laughing also helps you feel happy when things are not going well for a while. Experiment with this.

5. Anticipate the other person’s needs

The essence of this is that you do something for the other person without their asking. You provide it, so to speak, and you show that you are thinking of someone. People like to hear appreciation for something they have done. For example, someone took a long trip to meet you. You then ask things like, “I guess that was early rising for you?” Or “Did the traffic jam bother you a lot?”.

6. Make the other person feel comfortable

A good way to show cordiality is to introduce new people/colleagues to the conversation you are having (formal and informal). You thereby invite them to join the conversation. Your new colleague will be eternally grateful.

Another way to make the other person feel comfortable is if you are a master at making small talk. People like it when you keep the conversation going by speaking easily on a variety of topics.

7. Doing something for another person

The concept here is to offer the solution to the other person when there is a problem and “just do it.” For example, if you see that someone has a problem in a project. You can offer a helping hand.

8. Be generous with your thank yous.

Even without personal contact, you can show your warmth. For example, by a sending an email thanking them personally for something they have done. This is actually always possible. By doing so, you show your appreciation for what has been done.

Your cordiality

Become greater as you practice the above. What matters is whether you are balanced and show poise to others. For good personal charisma, it is unwise to focus only on increasing your warmth. That’s not going to work. Charisma is a meticulous balance between presence, power and cordiality. Only then can you use it in positive ways.