STOP giving feedback. There is no point!
How do you give feedback? I would just stop. It’s time for next level feedback giving. Just looking at the result instead of the behavior. In this blog, 5 thoughts on how to abandon old-school feedback and send it differently instead.
It is my personal belief that basically everything you want to find about giving and receiving feedback can be found on the Internet. So why even fill courses with it?
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I think it’s time for a next level of giving feedback and just looking at the outcome rather than the behavior. In this blog 5 thoughts on how to abandon old school feedback and instead send it in a different way.
Feedback “old-school-style” is not effective!
Thought 1. pioneering research at General Electric showed that performance appraisal, reward and punishment (feedback) did not produce the intended results. On the contrary.
Failure to deliver the desired results was attributed to the employee’s shortcomings. That’s just how the mind works. In addition, we also have to deal with another aspect: if the feedback contradicts our self-image then we will do anything to eliminate this negative feeling.
The cause of our failure is attributed to external factors beyond our control (the theory of cognitive dissonance). Source: Harvard Business Review.
Giving feedback is not among the classic tactics for influencing
Thought 2. Robert Caldini has described 6 tactics that can make the other person do what we want. Although we don’t want to use these ourselves, it is important to know them because they contain a fundamental aspect of human interaction. Others also employ these tactics to persuade us. The six tactics:
- reciprocity, giving something to get something in return
- authority , the more authority the more people listen
- consistency, you still love your family (life insurance)
- social proof, peer pressure acceptance
- sympathy, investing in friendly relationships
- scarcity, prompts action.
Weirdly, giving feedback is not included in that ……
Feedback is unhealthy for your self-image
Thought #3 Just look at your own experience. How do you handle the feedback you receive? Isn’t it always easy isn’t it?
For most people, perhaps you are among the exceptions, negative feedback goes against their self-image. Seeking explanations for the criticized behavior, rationalizing it away, attributing the cause to external factors, we are all very clever and adept at it!
So what about “positive” feedback?
Thought 4. even ‘positive’ feedback does not have the effect we expect. ‘Positive’ feedback is an extrinsic reward, which unfortunately works temporarily.
We get used to compliments and even at some point become resentful of them if they are not forthcoming. The effect of this is that we become angry and start exhibiting precisely undesirable behavior.
Not giving feedback? What then?
Thought 5. I say cut the feedback and do something different. Give employees themselves as much responsibility as possible. Let them set their own goals and judge their own performance.
If they fall short, they themselves indicate what corrective action they deem necessary. The manager’s role thus becomes socratic rather than Aristotelian. Employees do not tell them what to do, but ask questions!
A dream? Definitely not! The 5 tips below will take you a good way toward becoming a socratic executive who primarily drives for results.
Tip 1 Know what you want to achieve!
Determine the goal you want to achieve. Without a goal, no direction. Then the conversation can go in all directions. Sides that you might not want at all. So prepare well and know specifically what you want to achieve!
Tip 2 Be curious!
Yes, you might say, I’m always curious! If that’s the case, then just move right on to step 3. But the other day I encountered a manager who constantly worked with presuppositions in conversations.
He knew what was going on. He did not test the reality of his “concoctions” with his interlocutors, he filled in what they thought for himself and thus remained stuck in his own meaning. No curiosity at all! To avoid this pitfall, the following tip is very valuable.
Tip 3 Ask questions
Ask questions, questions and more questions! Preferably open-ended questions, and of course you may also ask open-ended confrontational questions! Get into the role of an investigator.
What exactly is the state of affairs? What has already been done? What is that person running into? What solution does that person see to tackle the problem? When can what result be expected? What does that person still need from you?
Tip 4 Make concrete agreements!
In any case, make sure expectations back and forth are clear. Check the images that go with that and make the results sharp!
Tip 5 Monitor appointments
Monitor not only the agreements, but also set a plan for them. Often people think that after the conversation is all clear and that the other person knows what needs to be done, will do it all by themselves. No, that’s really not always the case! Therefore, keep your finger on the pulse. Monitor the progress and adjust where necessary!
Free discovery call
Lacking assertiveness or selfconfidence?
Does it inhibit you at work and want to get rid of that? That's possible with our 40 days individual coaching program. Lets meet, see if we have a 'click' and if I can help you.
